Diagnosis + 44 Days


Gang:

Well, as much as it can be possible, I have no significant news to report.  This is just an update.

Everything is the same: my hair continues to fall out, my treatments continue to go forward, chemotherapy is still something which could be used as a threat to control unruly third world dictators, etc.

Mary and I have posted a large "10" on our refridgerator to indicate the number of chemo treatments left. I can't wait until it says "9".

I did not, as rumors in the press would have it, father Madonna's baby. Such a thing is unthinkable and would really piss off my wife. However, her baby IS likely to have several things in common with me:

1. We will both be bald at the same time.

2. We will both spit up at the same time.

3. We will both eat Gerber's plum at the same time.

4. We will both spend much of the time on weekends in bed, refusing to do much of anything but sleep and whine.

Though these similarities, as the media have pointed out, are convincing to the uninitiated, we are NOT related. I do not know the fabled Madonna nor do I have her pearl-beaded bustier which a London tabloid accused me of stealing.

For those of you who want to know, my white blood cell count was 2300 for my second chemo treatment. A normal person's white count is 5000. Thus mine is low. However, this is normal for chemo and only if my white count falls below 1000 will chemo be delayed. I think that's what my doctor told me. Again, things are going as well as can be expected, according my oncologist.

This isn't relevant to my cancer, but I thought you might want to know that I planted carrots and zuchini in our garden. Next week tomatoes. I plan to test the effects of dacarbazine on the carrots. I think they won't get cancer.

Hope all is well with y'all.

Steve

"Thomas Hodgkins Died of Natural Causes"

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